evaleen (tintedclouds) wrote in silverpavements,
evaleen
tintedclouds
silverpavements

[exo] how to live life: the manga edition


→ baekhyun/chanyeol, sehun/luhan, slight!minseok/luhan, ninja!joonmyun/jongdae, ninja!wufan/yixing
→ pg 13
→ romance, fail!crack
a/n: i have no words for this. what have i just written. this is 1.7k of nonsense written within 2 hours. i’m sorry if you expected anything better from me.

When Luhan walks out of the hotel doors for a drink, he definitely does not expect to see a tall, gangly boy struggling with the security guard. He frowns when the guard drags the giant guy in front of him: no I do not deal with peasants I only came out for a drink what do you think you are doing do you want to get fired-

“Sir,” the guard says. Luhan squints at his nametag. It says Kim Minseok, but who needs names when you have security guards with cute and puffy cheeks?

Minseok frowns. “Sir, I do not take kindly to being pinched on the cheeks-” He is interrupted by Luhan’s squeal of “Baozi!” Why is my life so hard, he thinks sadly.

“Sir, this guy was begging us to let him stay at the hotel even though he has no money and a luggage full of things he claims he does not want us to see. If you ask me, it is highly suspicious and- please stop pinching my cheeks.” Luhan is sad. But he stops anyway.

He looks up at the offender. Large eyes, black hair, a cute nose, and a very sad expression. Why is everything sad today. This is so sad. Luhan thinks he needs to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Um,” Luhan begins. “What’s your name?”

The boy perks up and grins at Luhan, who thinks he might need to get eye surgery. His teeth are very white for a homeless peasant, he notes.

“My name is Park Chanyeol! And I just got kicked out by my roommate because he thinks I am too annoying and read too much manga. So now I don’t have a home. Can I please stay in your hotel? I promise not to take too much space! And I will work for your hotel! I have very good people skills! I think!” Luhan winces.

“Can you like…not. I can hear all your exclamation marks.” Chanyeol is sad. Sad Chanyeols are not good because they look like kicked puppies, and personally, Luhan likes puppies. Unfortunately, Kris does not like puppies.

“I would let you stay, but the manager of EXO hotel doesn’t exactly like homeless peasants staying here,” Luhan tells Chanyeol. If anything, Chanyeol looks sadder than ever. Now he is an abandoned puppy. Oops.

“But I read fanfiction! I write fanfiction too! Um, I mean, I write fanfiction too,” Chanyeol hastily adds. He wishes he hadn’t said anything when Luhan’s eyes light up like fireworks.

“I will show you your way to your room, sir.”

Chanyeol feels happy that he, for once, has made a good life decision. Minseok looks like he wants to cry.

-

“For starters, you’re positively freezing and sneezing. We can’t have you sick, so here’s my fabulous tuxedo jacket for you.” Luhan drapes his jacket over Chanyeol’s shoulders. Chanyeol beams.

“We’re now at your room!” They stop in front of the room 2158.

“One of our staff will come up here and help you. You’re only gonna be staying here for a while because I have to deal with the manager.” At this, Luhan sighs. He looks like he wants to cry. Chanyeol pities him. But his pity lasts only a while, because someone is knocking at the door. He goes to open the door and leaves Luhan sniffing on the bed.

He’s greeted by a short guy with small eyes and purple hair. But what he does not expect is the words that fall out of the guy's mouth the moment he sees him.

“Oh my god, yaoi shoulders.”

“I have yaoi hands too! Wanna see?”

Luhan wants to bang his head against the wall. Baekhyun is supposed to be the receptionist. Maybe he shouldn’t actually have said that Chanyeol liked reading manga.

“Chanyeol, this is-”

“HI EVERYONE CALLS ME BYUN BAEKHYUN BUT YOU CAN CALL ME TONIGHT TO DISCUSS WHETHER OR NOT RINTAROU WILL MAKE A MOVE ON KAEDE,” Baekhyun interrupts with a crazed look in his eyes.

“HI EVERYONE CALLS ME PARK CHANYEOL AND I WILL CALL YOU TONIGHT TO DISCUSS WHETHER OR NOT WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS,” Chanyeol yells back.

Luhan wishes that he’d never liked puppies in the first place.

Chanyeol spends the next hour talking to Byun Baekhyun about mangas and BL mangas. And when Chanyeol reveals the contents of his lone luggage, earning a gasp from Baekhyun, Luhan is quite sure that he does not want to know what they do in their free time. Except, maybe he wants Chanyeol to write fanfiction for him and Sehun. Wink wonk.

-

Somehow, Kris lets Chanyeol stay as a bell boy, but on the condition that he gets new clothes instead of new mangas. Chanyeol is happy. Besides, he can always get mangas from Baekhyun’s secret stash.

He finds himself sidling up to Baekhyun at the counter during every single one of his breaks and to his immense joy, Baekhyun does the same on his breaks too. Except when they have joint breaks – that’s when they read manga together at the fountain. Kris finds them that way on one of his weekly rounds around the hotel.

“What are you two doing,” he says disbelievingly as he stops in front of Baekhyun and Chanyeol. They look up at him with strange looks in their eyes that promise a lifetime of pain and gay porn.

“Okay, wait, I don’t actually want to know what you two are doing,” he raises his hands to stop the onslaught of images he will probably never erase from his brain. Chanyeol is sad and he puts the manga down. Baekhyun pats him on the shoulder.

“Oh my god, you actually do have yaoi shoulders.”

By this time, Kris has walked away. Why are his subordinates all so NSFW? Kris laughs at his own joke. At his side, his personal assistant Yixing stares at him.

“Kris, are you thinking of a bad joke again?”

Kris sulks. Nobody appreciates his sense of humour.

-

“Look, Sehun. Don’t they just look so cute together? I think I’m going to come up with a ship name for them!” Luhan whispers gleefully to Sehun as they spy on Baekhyun and Chanyeol from a corner of the hotel’s restaurant. The latter two are currently cackling away about who-knows-what and generally earning dirty looks from the restaurant staff and patrons.

“Hyung, I don’t think this is how we should be spying on other people,” Sehun tries to take off his sunglasses, but is stopped with a hand by Luhan.

“Nonsense. Every good spy should wear sunglasses. How else would we disguise ourselves?” Luhan snaps at Sehun. But of course, Luhan is wrong.

“Luhan and Sehun, what are you doing?” The pair raises their heads to look up at the restaurant manager, Joonmyun.

“Go away, Joonmyun. We’re trying to spy. Don’t ruin our efforts. Shoo, go away,” Luhan swats at Joonmyun while looking at Baekhyun and Chanyeol through binoculars.

“But-” Joonmyun tries to protest. Luhan fixes him with a glare.

“Do you want me to draw things for you and Jongdae, or not?”

Joonmyun goes back to the restaurant counter sadly. Sehun looks at Luhan.

“Wow, hyung, I didn’t know you could draw.”

“Sehun, you don’t know many things about me. Shut up and help me spy on Chanbaek while I try to remove my sunglasses.” Luhan pauses.

“WAIT OH MY GOD I HAVE A SHIP NAME FOR THEM.”

Sehun wants to cry. What has he done in his past life to deserve this?

It’s because you are a handsome piece of shit, a voice whispers in his head. Sehun chooses to ignore it.

-

It has been 1 month since Luhan coined the ship name, Chanbaek.

“Chanbaek makes me want to cry tears of blood,” Luhan wails at Sehun. Sehun gives him a pitying look.

“I mean, look at them! They’re skirting around and not making any moves on each other! Why can’t they actually live life like they’re in a manga???” Sehun’s gaze follows Luhan’s finger, to where he sees Baekhyun and Chanyeol at the fountain. It seems that Chanyeol has bought Baekhyun the latest manga, and they’re looking into each other’s eyes so sappily that he wants to puke. Now he knows what Luhan means.

But Kris is also on one of his weekly rounds, which also means a possibility that Chanbaek will actually kiss, because Yixing is a shitty personal assistant who does not actually bend down to help pick banana peels out of Kris’s path. Which is also why Sehun and Luhan watch as Kris slips on the banana peel…and pushes Chanyeol into Baekhyun.

And this is also how Baekhyun and Chanyeol kiss for the first time. Luhan thinks he has never felt prouder in his entire life.

“MY SHIP IS CANON! MY SHIP!!! IS!!! CANON!!!!!!!” He shrieks at Sehun.

Quietly, Sehun puts earmuffs on, and comes up with reasons on why dating Luhan is a good idea.

-

“Hey, Yixing?” Kris asks as he surveys the hotel from the third floor.

“Yeah?” Yixing looks up from his nails. “If this is another bad pun, save it.”

“No, it’s not,” Kris frowns. Why does everyone suspect him of coming up with bad puns all the time? It’s not like he’s got that much free time. “It’s just, do you think all the hotel staff here are gay?”

Yixing looks down at the lobby. Sehun and Luhan are surreptitiously making out behind the receptionist’s counter. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are not-so surreptitiously making out at the fountain. Joonmyun is, well, on his way to making out with Jongdae behind the huge statue. He scrutinizes everything and everyone.

“I think you might be right,” he tells Kris seriously. Kris is quiet for a while.

“Hey, Yixing, you wanna hear a pun?”

“No.”

“Homos(exo)ual! Haha, get it, like homo exo?” Kris laughs at his own joke.

Yixing climbs up onto the railings.

“Oh my god, Yixing, what are you doing?” Kris shouts, alarmed. He puts a hand in front of Yixing in an attempt to stop him from jumping.

“Getting away from your bad puns,” he mutters in reply. Baekhyun and Chanyeol stop making out and look up at where Yixing and Kris are. Baekhyun points at Kris, eyes wide.

“Hey Chanyeol, I never really noticed before but…” Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun strangely.

“What is it?”

“Oh my god, Kris has yaoi hands!”

Now Chanyeol wants to cry.
fin.


a/n: the nsfw joke is a pun on the word work. like, they're working in a hotel, but they're not safe for WORK. hahaha, get it????
ok i think i need to stop. this is also known as the fic in which everyone wants to cry. and so do i.
Tags: baekyeol, crack, exo, romance, suchen
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